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Snippets of 2017 is something I hope to stay committed to. A picture of me, or an image that represents something that I feel inside of me on the day I shared it, sometimes an image of those important to me. I want to be sharing yet not oversharing.
For a moment or two I thought I did not care who flipped through the images like old polaroid pictures someone found in a drawer. Until one person looked and I thought what a hypocrite this person was/is. For all the talk of them saying how terrible I am, and they just want to be left alone – Here they are flipping through the polaroids of my mind.
This person talks a good talk, but for all the I just want to be left alone , this person still peeks into those she wishes to have nothing to do with. I had to ask a friend is this who I think it is? I learned it was.
But I am different than she. I can look into the now, and future, and the past does not hold that tight grip on me (when it comes to her). She’s a nothing person in my daily thoughts. I wish for her happiness so she can show herself as she is in a “just me” state, and not continue to (if she is) blaming others for what is not now, or probably was never meant to be.
As much as I do not have a friendship with her I believe she has unicorn qualities too. Everyone is special. Everyone can be loved and be loving. It’s her two faced attitude that I am going to overlook. For though she does not want me to look at any of her online areas – FET, Tumblr, FB – she has no issue looking at mine.
I think the difference between her and I is maturity and alcohol. I don’t hide or block. I can feel peace no matter who pokes around my stuff. After all, if it is online it seems silly to do all that blocking. I also don’t consume alcohol and lash out of individuals. It’s been a long while since I have been on that end of the wine lashing, but what I wish for her is to not – just not. My wishes for her are insignificant, and I rarely have a wish for this person. I know she’s not had a kind wish for me, as all her words, or words I have heard through the grapevine have been negative towards me. That’s fine.
If I am one of the poisonous roots of why something did not go right in a certain area then why come and look at my little silly nothing 365 day posts. Until today they were meaningless post to others, but substantive to me. I guess today’s snippet changed that. I could have remained silent but this is what is in my head today.
So hello there “just me” – welcome to my 365 days of 2017. Enjoy, come back, don’t enjoy, don’t come back, but please remember you are part unicorn, as we all are, and something magical (meant to be happiness) awaits you – as it does us all.
And if you can’t embrace the unicorn please slip into these wings and fly. Don’t show your hypocrisy by maintaining the misery of the past all the while you are peeking into someone else’s present.